There was a time in my book of life when I was in the thick of
My pet peeve is injustice, so I would somehow, someway find my way into the middle of conflicts, and jump in as the rescuer, only to ‘get screwed’ over in the end, leaving me the victim of the story. Sound Familiar
Eventually, this pattern would bring me to
A part of me – the wise intuitive part who always has my back, who steers me towards my authenticity, who comforts me in times when I get off track – reminded me that my true nature was one of peace, integrity, health, and vibrancy. I
I had enough. I wanted peace more than being seen as ’the helper’, more than being acknowledged by others, more than being liked, more than
One part Psychology + One part Courage + One part Magic = Fierce Freedom!
One part Psychology
In my early twenties, I was in a toxic relationship for 5 years. The relationship was a rollercoaster of highs and lows. It started with being ‘love bombed’, and when you have low self-esteem, this is intoxicating. For once you are ’seen’, ‘loved’, ‘appreciated’, ‘heard’ and I was hooked. As the months progressed this ‘love-bombing’ pendulum swung to its opposite extreme. I was ignored, he was never available emotionally, unsupportive of my growing career, constant criticism and nit-picking, he would argue about everything, my opinions were never ‘right’. Day by day I would lose my autonomy, my sense of self, my confidence, my voice, the little self-esteem I started with. Any social engagement turned into a massive drama, he would end up in a derogatory argument with my friends or family, I would feel deeply embarrassed and then in private conversation with my friends or family to try and clean up the mess by defending him. Slowly I started isolating myself.
I justified his toxic
One part Courage
I needed to face the truth in order to be free.
”The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.”Gloria Steinheim
The truth is that drama doesn’t just find you. You are either engaging in it, creating it or enabling it. Dammit! This was a tough one to swallow. If this premise was true, and I was solely responsible for my experience of life and relationships, this meant that I had chosen the poster boy for
I needed to ask myself the hard catalytic questions:
- What pay-off did I get from creating drama?
- Which part of my myself was I betraying by enabling drama?
- Why was the rescuer role I choose to play attracted to people who would drain me completely? And is this a true reflection of healthy support?
I needed to dig deep. I needed to call on the courageous part of me, who was willing to be wrong, willing to change, willing to face the truth, willing to surrender the part of me who was entangled in the pattern.
The truth was, even though I was completing my postgraduate degree in Clinical Psychology at the time, and knew the theory, I had not yet addressed my childhood wounding.
My father was diagnosed with a personality disorder when I was around 9 years old. As with many personality disorders, substance abuse was part of the equation. Toxic conflict, drama, aggression, and codependency was the backdrop to my childhood. This was our norm – this was my blind spot.
During this time I attended the Louise Hay Facilitator training course. On that course, my amazing teacher posed a question which would shatter my denial and illusions, and ulitmately ignite profound emotional healing for me. I told her I had dealt with my ‘Daddy Issues”, that I had forgiven him, that I understood the dynamics of addicts, personality disorders, codependency, etc.
She held a compassionate gaze whilst listening to me, and asked: “I want to know how that
After breaking ‘my rule’ of never crying
In deeper exploration during therapy, I
If I didn’t shift this mindset, I would keep choosing lovers, friends, work colleagues, bosses who would treat me with disrespect and I would continue to try to prove my worth. And we would continue to dance the dance of the toxic drama triangle. I realised I had betrayed myself, and treated my inner child with the same disregard
It was time to make a change… it was time to detox the disillusionment, the non-truths, the toxic….
One part Magic
Because we are so much more than just mind and body…
I started a cleansing ritual. I rose each morning, barefoot on the soil, and released all banked resentments, debris, beliefs which disempowered me and parts of self still addicted to the ‘excitement’ or adrenaline ‘rush’ of drama.
I started consciously calling back all
The good news is that even if we were conditioned for engaging in drama, we can learn new healthy tools to disengage from it and to live, love and lead from authentic power. And in the process, Be the change, uplift and inspire others to meet us here.
Once I decided to detox my mindset and
I started developing a healthy relationship with myself, deepened my sense of worth and belonging. As I started setting boundaries in place, where I was wasn’t respecting myself (and
I began to have increased energy, to feel an abundance of inner peace,
I met a wonderful man who respects me, gives me the freedom to be ALL of myself, supports me on my soul-path, inspires me to be the kind of woman I am proud to be. We share a deep love for
When you walk away from the drama – a life you never thought possible awaits for you… and you will discover the part of you which you were longing to embody, to connect with, to live, love and lead as… The Sovereign Queen within …
Are you ready for your own #dramadetox? I’ve just created a free 7 day experience which will get you on the fast-track to vibrant living!